Some tried to give me a buzz about one particular interview/video interview of mine on L’express.mu and trust me I won’t bother replying.
It’s been 3 years since I’m still walking hell and regretfully what intended to be an open debate, a medical educational purpose and a mindful perspective about patients’ rights turned out to be a heavily stigmatisation sensation in my neighbourhood after 2 families made their sadistic minds to use this as a weapon of bullshit justifications about their illegal activities causing direct harm to my health and unlawful land occupation/trespassing.
While covid restrictions were a nightmare for most of you, mine was health tortures, psychological abuse, character assassination, institutional gaslighting and whitewashing of executive law enforcement. THEY left no stone unturned to hurt, damage and destroy!
‘ Droguez’, ‘ Deklar malad pu pran gandia’, ‘figir seropositif’, ‘Pitin sosiab’, ‘Pitin laplaz’, ‘Ale pran to gandia’, ‘li gagne sida’
These made round my neighborhood and extending localities. The thing was; Run the wagon of rumors, slanderous tags, speculate on everything and achieve social stigmatization.
It worked amazingly good!
I go to the bustop, unknown individuals would approach to seek clarifications because it satisfied their curiosity to wet my eyes and freeze my core. I go to the beach and one would spot nonsense just to spit their venom and kill my breath. I go for medical appointments and one would visually Xray my whole and choke my stamina. I was even cornered off guard during one event organised by AKNL on Pomponette where I emotionally busted out, and that one marked the end of my presence to any public gathering, activism, social life and events.
Instead, severe social anxiety, neurotic anxiety, panic attacks, anthropophobia (fear of people) and a profound hate of ‘people’ filled the void of enervation and more health complications showed up.
I became highly suicidal and it was Tashi who gave and still gives me a grip after which I decided to seek assistance for mental health. I lost my physical health with more add ons due to direct health impact; a broken body, my mental health damaged and my social identity destroyed. Only this year I gave myself the approval to walk again head up and sight unhindered.
May is Lupus Awareness Month and this year’s theme is “Make Lupus Visible”. SLE Lupus is one of the other health conditions I was diagnosed with since 2013. My purple year theme all life through has changed to ‘FUCK YOU!’ And no, those eye washing publicity posts or claims about suicide prevention is absolute bullshit and social abetment to suicide is real! People kill and destroy more than any disease! FACT CHECKED, LIVED and EXPERIENCED! Suicide legislation should be revisited and abetment to suicide should be criminalised, PERIOD!
I owe nobody shits, vice versa. Since I set foot in activism whatever I did, does or will do, were, are and won’t ever be about self image gratification. I am answerable to my consciousness only. I don’t and won’t ask for help easily as I am built and have built myself on self-respect and acknowledge everyone’s burden’s.
Why today and not earlier?
As this year the judiciary is shedding much light on the truth about the same, those shameless/ ‘sans lamour prop’ narcissists won’t indulged into enlightening about their sick and dirty truths and less about their uncovered lies and machiavellian machination . Nor can they undone the harm, damage and destruction caused.
Restorative justice shouldn’t be held within the court walls only and soon I’ll name and shame all concerned parties. Meanwhile those spineless who peeps into my profile in search for more speculations and ‘macro’ reporting; Mo pa fer longanis sipa tap tanbour 1 fwa par an, fer bel la priyier invite lepep pu truv twa rekolter seki tonn plante. Mo pa zot!
I always hold faith about a prayer= an action= a blessing. I hold the law of nature close to my breath. Just like I convey blessings with my unfurled soul, with that same zeal; those who contributed, conspired and encouraged in bad faith, will reap the blessings of my prayers. I bless them and their children with the retributive fruits of their bad faith and actions!
Death is the evolution
as Birth continues the reconnection.
Time illustrates hope,
whilst Living gives gratification.
Blade my words that will bleed your deeds.
In between lies the thread of recollection that Karma grants in connexion.
Ameen!
Anshika Sawaram 